Think Like a Monk : Book Summary

Think Like a Monk is a self-help book by Jay Shetty that offers practical wisdom from his time spent as a monk. It shares insights on how to find purpose, overcome negative thoughts, and create a more fulfilling life.

I adapted a week of digital detoxification and have summarized my experience. Read it here.

The author talks about adapting the monk mindset in 3 stages:

Stage 1 – Let go

Stage 1 is about letting go of distractions and fears that hold us back. The book begins with guidance on how we should define our identities and narrow down the values that are important to us. 

It helps us achieve this by auditing the way we spend our time and money so we focus on what’s most important to us. Then, once we figure out our values, it draws our attention to the choices we need to make to live our lives based on our values. 

What we do with our spare time shows what we value. Jay Shetty

Dealing with Negativity

The book discusses how to deal with negativity as part of letting go. It gives us tools to deal with both external and internal negativity. My favorite part of negativity is the section on forgiveness. We all know that holding grudges and anger takes up much of our mental space. In dealing with forgiveness, Jay shares that we should all aim to forgive someone without expecting anything in return. 

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety or possessions – we cannot be free. Jay Shetty

Living with Intention

The book shares that there are four motivations behind all of our intentions. These are fear, desire, duty, or love. To live intentionally, we must dig deep into the why behind each of our wants. The author asks us to pause and consider who we need to be to achieve our wants and desires. Does this person appeal to us? 

Success is earning money, being respected in your work, executing projects smoothly, and receiving accolades. Happiness is feeling good about yourself, having close relationships, and making the world a better place. Jay Shetty

Stage 2 – Grow

Stage 2 is where the book helps us reshape our lives and help us in finding our purpose and make the right choices by understanding our minds.  

Jay describes finding our Dharma/Purpose using a simple equation: 

Passion + Expertise + Usefulness = Dharma. 

It’s finding what we are good at, that we like, and that is something people need. Jay says that our Dharmas don’t hide, but we must work patiently to recognize them. Then, when we do, we can test it out through experimentation. 

The book talks about Two questions we can ask ourselves while on a journey to find our purpose: 

1. Did I enjoy the process? 

2. Did other people enjoy the result? 

The why ladder exercise described in the book helps us get to the root cause behind our goals and dreams. 

Dharma isn’t just passion and skills. Dharma is passion in the service of others. Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others. Your passion becomes a purpose when you use it to serve others. Jay Shetty

Understanding the choices we make

The author emphasizes training the mind to make the right choices. Drive the chariot analogy, as described in this post, is my favorite analogy to understand why we make our choices. 

The more we can evaluate, understand, train, and strength our relationship with the mind, the more successfully we navigate our lives and overcome challenges. Jay Shetty

Stage 3 – Give

Stage 3 is where we learn to give, develop a sense of gratitude, and understand and deepen our relationships. 

The book states that once you start seeing the things to be grateful for, your brain starts looking for more things to be more grateful. Gratitude, per Jay, is like building muscle. It strengthens over time. 

Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it.Dalai Lama

On Relationships

One of my favorite parts of the book is understanding love. Jay shares that love is like a circle. Whatever we give out always comes back to us. But the problem lies within our expectations. We assume it should come from the same person that receives our love. But it doesn’t always come from that person. 

When feeling unloved, he asks us to think about who is giving to us without receiving anything. 

On picking relationships, Jay shares that the key is to be self-aware. We attract the wrong people if we don’t know ourselves well. 

Often we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.Thich Nhat Hanh