My Olive Green Tote- Few Life Lesson

My olive green tote bag. The one who accompanied me on my travels. The one who was with me on the journey to myself.
It has seen more world than many people have, and it is probably more empathetic than many people. That seems to be the only justified reason why it didn’t judge me when I put an extra load on him during my times of difficulty. It is much more accommodating than most of the people I know.

How I met him is a funny tale. I went street shopping with my sister in Delhi Sarojini. As soon as we entered a guy selling bags stood in front and asked us a question “How are you going to shop when you are not carrying a shopping bag?”. This one is a kind of life question “How will you succeed in life when you are not prepared for it?”

We ignored him and walked on our way. After some time we realized he was right. And we started bargaining with another bag seller. To be honest, I was not liking any bag he had, and there appeared the guy, who told the other bag seller these are my customers. We were embarrassed to admit that he was right. But then I saw my future partner, it was my olive green tote bag.

I liked that color though I never bought any dress, bag, or shoes of that color. It was big and classy, in the front name of a big sports brand was printed. My mind was not convinced for buying a product with such a feature but it was late. My heart has already chosen it.
Would you believe it if I tell you it was just for 100 INR? Compare the return on investment of 100 INR and 6 years plus relation going on strong.
This was one of the most important lessons of my life, you can’t and should never judge the value of anything in its monetary terms. Anything…

With years passing I realized I am so much like my tote. I have an infinite capacity to hold heterogeneous pieces of stuff. Even when the load is overflowing we try our best to accommodate the matters within us. Though internally we are scared but when you check on us we shine bright like a star. You may call this showoff but I will term this as strong-willed. Growing up from modest roots we found our way to fulfill our dream partially of traveling the world. Life seems good but as time passed now the bruises of life started appearing on the surface. Still, you cannot see the scars from far or even just casually passing by. When one spends a good amount of time with me they can notice a small hole at the inner base layer. The base of happiness, kindness, and fun is all getting leaked out of that hole.

I loved to be the bag for everyone around where they could have emptied their feelings, took out random kinds of stuff which is useful, and asked for help in times of difficulty.
I realize now that I have taken charge of too much. Like my tote, I can’t put this responsibility on my owner or maybe I can. I asked the universe for answers, but alas haven’t received any reply. All I did was I limited the load I put on my olive green tote. Now I stuff only that much amount which it is meant to carry. In life, I am trying to ease off my mind hoping the universe will help me in the same way.

When I saw that small hole in my bag my heart ached. Though I always knew change is inevitable yet I was not prepared for it. I am still not prepared for the fact that time is running fast, my load is getting heavier but the scars are getting deeper. Now my dreams don’t let me sleep. I am trying to stitch my inner self with love and care.

My life and my tote bag, both old and scared, sometimes hopeless yet filled with dreams. Dreams that act as fuel to keep going on. Hope that we will travel the world together and fulfill all our dreams. Hope that we will be light, merry, and shine internally like we were a few years back.
I planned to donate my bag but the feeling of parting with a partner shirked me. I am not ready neither is my tote. Hope we will continue our journey and see the whole world together.