Feeling Stuck? Why and way out answered.

Are you feeling stuck? Is it normal? Does everyone get into this phase? The answer is a big YES!

Everyone from leading achievers in their field to common man to people living their life remotely, literally everyone gets stuck in life at one age or another. Even during multiple phases in life.

Why do we get stuck in life?

“It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie

We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.

You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.

You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.

And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.

But what if—just what if—being stuck isn’t the problem, but how we perceive it?

The Truth About Being Stuck

I have phases where I feel “stuck.”

Yet when I look closer, I see that “being stuck” is a label I give to a natural part of life.

It’s a time when not much happens. The anxiety comes when I think it should be otherwise. I start to force myself to work, to come up with ideas, and to make things happen.

And when I don’t get anywhere, I call it being stuck.

So, what is being stuck except the way I perceive life?

As I write this, I’ve been in a stuck period for the last few months. The difference is that I struggle less, because I’m beginning to let it be.

Why We Get Stuck

You get stuck when you think you should be something you’re not. When you think life should be different than it is.

I know I’m trying to force myself to do something when words like ”should,” ”have to,” and ”must” enter my mind.

When I relax and surrender to this quiet period in my life, things seem okay. I see that I can’t control life. I can only notice what life brings to me.

I embrace the Joy of little things of life like the song.

So is it that simple Just thinking that it’s natural.

No, I know it well even though we know this shall pass to, its very difficult and at times unbearable to be STUCK!

I see this a lot.

On social media. In real life. Conversations I overhear.

People feel stuck in place.

They don’t think they can make forward momentum in their lives.

It’s a tough position to be in.

It can feel all-consuming, a heavy feeling that wraps around you like a wet blanket.

There are many reasons why you might be feeling stuck in life.

And there are also potential solutions.

There’s no overnight cure, but maybe you can feel better in three sleeps. Or four sleeps? Who knows?

But you’ll never know if you don’t continue the search for the right information.

Broadly there are 4 reasons if we generalise society that makes us feel STUCK!

Feeling Stuck in Life Reason 1: You Think There’s No Hope for Any Change and You’re Feeling Lost- Why Do I Feel Stuck?

Feeling Stuck in Life Reason 2: You’re Stuck in a Dead-End Job / “I Don’t Know What to Do With My Life”

Feeling Stuck in Life Reason 3: You Don’t Like Where You Live

Feeling Stuck in Life Reason 4: Your Relationships Are Draining You

What to do when you feel stuck

There are plenty of ways that you can help yourself get unstuck. Below are some approaches that you can use, from tackling the issue in bite-size ways to seeing the issue more broadly. 

1. Identify what you really want. Stuckness can be a vague, ambiguous feeling of something in life not being “right.” When you notice these feelings, allow yourself some time to clarify what you want to be different. Frame these desires and hopes as what you do want to happen: “I want to maintain or increase my salary” rather than “I don’t want to take a pay cut.”
2. Change your perspective. Ask yourself how you will feel about this situation in a week, 3 months, in a year, or in 3 years. What would your 8-year-old self offer as advice? What would your 80-year-old self say? Keep in mind that feeling “stuck” can be simply a mindset—albeit a stifling one. A question like, “How else can I see this situation?” can free up a more creative response. 
3. Move your body. If you’ve ever finished the day at work with a stiff neck and shoulders, you’ll know that tension and stuckness can be held in the body. Exercise can be a great way to get more positive chemicals running through you, and being outside and in nature does wonders for your well-being. 
4. Set a date and park decisions until then. Give yourself space to clear your head, and set a date to re-evaluate your situation. Mark the date in your calendar, and allow yourself to be focused on present issues until then. This gives you the chance to be fully committed to what you’re doing without the extra weight of questioning yourself and your future. 
5. Take action to avoid “analysis paralysis.” Once you’re clear on what you want, ask yourself, “What’s the next smallest step I could take?” It’s so easy to get enmeshed with the stuckness that you forget there are small, easier steps that you could take to make progress. If you procrastinate, one of the best tools for moving through that is the Pomodoro Technique—where you commit to spending a small period of time, such as 25 minutes, working on a task uninterrupted. Since the first step is often the hardest, things feel easier once you get going. 
6. Tap into your own agency. Stuckness can often make you want to wallow in helplessness. Identify an aspect of your life where you do feel in control and then do something about it. These can be simple things, like deciding what you want for dinner, sending out one job application, or phoning a friend. You cannot be stuck and in motion at the same time, so doing anything with choice reminds you of your ability to get unstuck.
7. Rest, recharge, and focus on self care. During a challenging time, keep in mind that you’re responsible for your well-being. Do what you need to look after yourself through a good diet, sleep, healthy movement, and connection.

What not to do when you feel stuck

To reduce any extra stress and worry that can arise when feeling stuck, keep these in mind: 

• Try not to over-identify with the situation. Say, “I’m feeling stuck,” rather than “I am stuck.” It’s subtle, but important because it allows you to remember that feelings pass. One moment you might feel stuck, but the next moment you might feel tired, or bored or elated, or any number of emotions. 
• Don’t beat yourself up. Most people like to have clarity and control over their lives, so the feeling of being stuck can be frustrating. Rather than beat yourself up over feeling stuck, treat yourself with kindness and self compassion.
• Don’t focus on the stuck area as the only thing in your life. Remember that each situation that makes you feel stuck is just one part of your life. For example, if you feel stuck at work, spend some time appreciating what is good about your health or relationships.
• Try not to blame others and instead remember how you can take responsibility for yourself. We don’t live in a vacuum, and others’ decisions and actions can impact our lives—but dwelling on that isn’t productive. Remember that you’re ultimately in charge of many aspects of your life and work. 
• Don’t doubt your ability to handle the outcomes of your decisions or choices. If you’re really stuck with a choice between two options, they may be equal—or one would be more obvious. When you consider the cost of staying in the limbo of indecision, you may find it’s better to commit to a decision and move forward with the self-belief that you can handle what comes next. Trust yourself. 

How to help someone that is stuck?

Everyone feels stuck now and then. Here’s how you can support others when they find themselves in this situation.

1. Listen. When someone is feeling stuck with a complex challenge, it is incredibly comforting to have someone who will listen without judgment.
2. Normalize it. Feeling stuck happens to us all, and can be a sign of growth and evolution. When people are stuck, they often can feel isolated and alone with the situation, so show them care and compassion.
3. Resist giving advice. It’s normal to want to offer ideas and advice, but it’s not as helpful as letting people come up with solutions for themselves. Your answer to the problem might not be the right one depending on their needs, values, or levels of risk tolerance.
4. Get permission to ask questions and lean into curiosity. You might begin by asking questions like, “What do you want?” and “What’s important about that?” Then help open up new insights by asking “What’s getting in the way?” and “What could you try?” When people feel genuinely heard in a non-judgemental way, they can often come to their own solutions and essentially shine their own light through the fog.

In case you are feeling stuck you can reach out to me. You can write an email to apurvalalranjan@gmail.com or DM me on Insta or FB.