Low Emotional Intelligence- How to deal with IT

Women have got an edge with higher Emotional intelligence but How to deal with someone with low emotional intelligence. We live in a society, we all have family and we can’t move forward if the environment we live in is not congruent. It is very painful that way.

People are not ready for changes, they are stuck in a comfortable zone. They don’t understand others message.

Like a caterpillar not breaking its shell and becoming a butterfly.

So, what should we do? How should we deal with a person without emotionally breaking out ourselves? 

Let us begin by defining Emotional Intelligence.

 EQ is the ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.

Are we born with emotional intelligence?

The short answer is NO. Research shows that we are not born with emotional intelligence; instead, we learn these essential skills through lived experience. Foundational blocks are laid in our childhood and our primary carers, usually, our parents, play a massive role in teaching us these skills. If you came from a loving family with emotionally intelligent parents, the likelihood is that you developed these skills growing up. However, if this was not the case, you may have struggled to navigate your emotions growing up, and the ability to forge close relationships has been a struggle most of your life. 

What are the signs of low emotional intelligence?

Low emotional intelligence means you often find it tough to:

• decipher and manage your own emotions
• understand how other people feel

Other key signs include:

• trouble understanding what causes certain feelings
• frequent emotional outbursts or mood changes
• difficulty asserting opinions or taking charge in a situation
• little interest in finding new ways of solving problems
• trouble accepting criticism, constructive or otherwise
• difficulty expressing ideas clearly or getting a point across
• a habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time
• a certain obliviousness to emotional cues from others
• a tendency to fixate on mistakes instead of learning from them and moving on
• pessimism and loss of motivation after setbacks

5 Signs You’re More Emotionally Intelligent Than Your Partner

• You’re aware of how you feel: When you’re emotionally intelligent, you know what you’re feeling and how to communicate that to other people.
• You take responsibility: for instance, that if you phrase your feelings such as, “I feel,” as opposed to “You made me feel,” then you may be emotionally intelligent with your communication style.
• You handle disagreements maturely: An emotionally intelligent person handles arguments or disagreements maturely, taking responsibility for their part and trying to find a solution. A partner who’s still developing their emotional intelligence may be stubborn or passive-aggressive, rather than productively trying to find a solution that satisfies everyone.
• You’re aware of your limitations: You are not GOD, and if you know your limitation you won’t burn out.
• You offer to help your partner grow: If your partner is lacking in emotional intelligence, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of the relationship.

And this article is all about it, how to deal with someone with low emotional intelligence.

Let us discuss in general signs of low emotional intelligence

1. They avoid talking about how they feel
2. They criticize themselves for how they feel
3. They try to control their emotions
4. They only notice their loud emotions
5. They blindly follow their emotions
6. They try to ‘fix’ your emotions
7. They pretend to be happy all the time

Now that you have identified that you are more emotionally intelligent than your partner,

All you need to understand how to help people with low emotional intelligence

If you feel you lack it then go a section down and read how to increase emotional intelligence.

…telling someone to change without helping them to change their environment rarely leads to success.

Offer acceptance

Remember, everyone, brings something different to the table. Try to look for and respect their unique personality features and strengths instead of only focusing on their emotional skills.

You can’t change anyone, but you can encourage them to work on emotion regulation themselves.

Practice with them

When it comes to supporting someone as they work on change, gentle encouragement always wins out over criticism:

• Ask how they’re feeling when they seem stressed.
• Offer positive examples by staying calm and practicing compassion.
• Encourage them to practice regulation strategies with you, like taking a walk or trying some deep breathing.

Make an effort to listen

It’s natural to become frustrated when you think no one’s picking up on what you want to say. Most people have been in this position at some point.

When you don’t have good coping strategies in place, however, it becomes more difficult to work through this distress.

• Ask clarifying questions to avoid misunderstandings.
• Summarize or reflect on what they’ve said (instead of simply repeating it back) to show them you’ve processed the meaning behind their words.

Stick to logic

When someone favors logical approaches over emotional ones, using logic yourself can help you communicate more productively.

Focus on facts rather than feelings. This means you might describe an event exactly as it happened instead of skipping over key details to emphasize its emotional impact.

How to increase emotional intelligence in case you are the one with lower emotional intelligence.

Practice means progress

Raising your emotional intelligence usually takes time. It can feel awkward and difficult to talk about feelings if you aren’t used to expressing yourself emotionally.

Still, the more you flex your emotional awareness, the easier it generally becomes to regulate emotions and use them for your benefit.

RULER, an acronym developed by psychologist Marc Brackett, offers a helpful tool for building emotional intelligence:

Recognize your emotions

Instead of ignoring feelings that come up, acknowledge that you feel something, pleasant or otherwise, even if you don’t yet have a name for it.

Understand what causes them

Tracing specific emotions back to what you were just doing, your location, or the people you’re with can help you begin exploring why you might feel a certain way.

Label them

Name your emotions as specifically as possible. Tend to get stuck on finding the right label? Try an emotion wheel to familiarize yourself with a wider range of feelings.

Express them

Talk about feelings instead of denying them or bottling them up. Different situations require different types of expression, of course — you probably wouldn’t express emotions to your best friend in the same way you would to a parent.

Journaling and art can help you practice expressing emotions privately until you feel ready to share them with others.

Don’t forget to ask others how they feel and invite them to share their emotions with you.

Regulate them

Learning to manage your emotions might sound difficult, but you actually have plenty of options.

Once you acknowledge an emotion, temporary distractions can help you set it aside until you have the chance to address it.

You might try:

• a short walk or a quick meditation
• music or funny videos
• texting a friend or loved one for emotional support
• a favorite hobby
• reading books

Grounding exercises can help you get better at coping with difficult emotions at the moment. Meditation can help improve overall emotional awareness and regulation skills, so it may offer more long-term benefits.

Determine where you want to grow

Emotional intelligence has five main components:

• self-awareness
• emotional regulation
• empathy
• motivation
• social and relationship skills

You might have stronger skills in certain areas already. Maybe you struggle to manage your own emotions but don’t have too much trouble recognizing when loved ones have something on their mind. Or perhaps you have plenty of personal motivation but find it difficult to empathize with others.

Recognizing the areas where you have room to grow can help you explore strategies that have the most impact.

For example, meditation helps many people improve self-awareness and get better at controlling emotions. Practice with taking others’ perspectives can help build empathy.

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